What Do You Think?

So, just curious what you all think about our new family portrait? It's at the very bottom of our blog. Check it out, let me know!

Nervous

Ever have a situation that makes you nervous? So nervous you could throw up?

Cancelling Internet

Sometimes, when life gives you new options, you have to do what you can to make it work. In order for me to stay home, we have to make a lot of sacrifices. We've made the decision to cancel our cable/internet. We have blackberry phones and receive email and facebook on our phones, plus I can do all banking needs on my phone too. How convenient. So, since we're stuck with the fancy pants phones for a while now, we may as well use them. On that note, my blogging will, if not come to a complete stop, slow down quite considerably. I am not very good at updating anyway, so I may as well just give it up for now. I will still be able to use the internet at friends and family's houses. But finding the time to go there is sometimes difficult. Anyway, just thought I'd give you a heads up. Sorry if I disappear for a while. If you need to get ahold of me, just send me an email. jeanneputnam@gmail.com

They Don't Call Me "Crazy Jeanne" For Nothing

I sorta feel like I'm going crazy. I don't know why? And I sure hope it passes...soon. But my brain is running a million miles per second and I can't make it stop. These things I'm "obsessed" about are out of my control at this point. I love when I do this to myself (did you note the sarcasm?--it's a flaw). A lot of times I feel like I experience these feelings so I can better empathize with other people who are also going crazy. And I'm good with that. It makes me feel more normal to know that someday, my craziness might help someone else. Afterall, I'm not so bad off anyway.

I've been doing a lot of soul searching this weekend. I'm not impressed. So, it's time to open a new chapter in my life. Things could go a lot better in a lot of areas. I've got a lengthy list of personal goals to work on. I've had that list for a long time. I've made great progress in the last 6 years, but I've had some setbacks, so now I feel like I'm farther behind than when I started (in some areas). So, here's to picking my chin(s) up and looking forward. I'm not going to let a few lost years ruin my spirits.

And because I am feeling pretty random....I really want to be a marriage and family counselor when I grow up. And the older I get, the more I want to do it. And the older I get...the harder it's going to be to accomplish. But that is a goal that will have to wait. I've got a lot more soul searching/repairing to do. And I've got one VERY, VERY important relationship to strengthen. Because right now it's pretty weak (and that's my fault!).

Patience

Our plans almost changed recently. I was offered a part time position at another branch a few miles farther away. I made my decision fairly quickly to decline the offer. As attractive as the offer sounded, we decided it wasn't the right path for our lives. And after sleeping on it, the next day I felt even more sure. So, plans remain the same and now everyone at work knows. Thankfully, they have all been very supportive.

I know I still have 9 weeks, but I can't wait to stay at home so I can get control over a few things in our lives. For starters...my house and Christian's 2 year old behavior issues. And then potty training will probably happen in the next year sometime too.

So, instead of struggling to have the faith that we are making the right choice, I struggle to have the patience to make it through the next 9 weeks. And I hesitate to ask for patience...who knows what might happen.

A Little of This and That

I feel like I have so much to say, but nothing to say all at the same time. I suppose we'll start where we left off and go from there. I apologize in advance for the length and possible choppiness of this post. I'm using it as therapy today.

I am feeling much better since our miscarriage. Life seems bearable again and I feel like we're getting back into our normal routine. We've been instructed to try to wait a couple of months before getting pregnant again, but hopefully we will be able to have a baby soon.

I was so out of sorts the past few weeks. I just went through the motions of life because I had to. Nothing extra was accomplished and I just got lazy. So, now, I have to play catch up and I just don't feel like it. My free time for the next few months will be spent completely rearranging our tiny condo. I have to make it work. I think I'm going to do one room at a time. I'll take everything out and sort it and start to purge anything unnecessary. Then I'll have a clean slate to work with as I start to put the room all back together. The kitchen and our bedroom are the hardest. We just "need" more than we have space. And as our family grows...it will become more tight. But right now we're stuck here. And I'm grateful we have a roof over our heads. Does anyone know how to organize a small closet? We aren't utilizing our space efficiently. (If only I could get rid of my wedding dress...but Dave won't let me.)

Anyway, enough about our small quarters. We've been able to relax and have a good time lately, also. We've spent a lot of time at the park, picnicking, at the zoo, at the pool, going out to eat, and enjoying our family and friends. How do we fit it all in? I never used to have a love for summer until we had Christian. He is SO happy outside in the sunshine. It just makes me happy to see him so happy. He could stay outside all day if I let him. Unfortunately, I have such fair skin that I have to be ultra careful and so Christian doesn't get to be outside for too long at a time. But I think it's enough to make him happy. I can't wait for next summer when he's a little older and can do even more.

This last week, Dave and I had the same day off. We try to coordinate our schedules to not have that happen, but sometimes it just does. This time, we saw it as a blessing. A time to spend together. We had plans to go to the temple in the morning, but for some reason I couldn't find my recommend. I tore the house apart looking everywhere for it. I've never misplaced it in the past and I was very, very bummed. We had been looking forward to attending the temple all week. We didn't find it for 2 days. Someone (think small person) lodged it behind/under the couch. (Maybe it's good we have a small house....less places to lose things.) I have never been so happy to find a piece of paper in my life. I hope we can go next week. I will never misplace my temple recommend again. I hated not knowing where it was.

As I mentioned in my last post, Dave and I have decided it is time for me to stay home with Christian. The decision was not an easy one for me to make. I agonized over when (not if) to quit for quite some time. I struggled (and still do a little) to have the faith to make the right choice. It will be hard to be at home everyday. And it will be hard to cut our income in half. I'm not sure, yet, how it will all work out, but I know it will. We might struggle, but I know our needs will be met. We have also decided that I need to quit sooner than our original plan. I struggled to feel comfortable with our December time frame. As for right now, unless something big happens, I am planning my last day at FirstBank to be Oct 30. I have worked there over 7 years now and I will miss it, but I know Christian (and our future children) will benefit from me being home. I just pray to have the faith that it will all work for our benefit.

This month brings Christian's 2nd birthday (19th) and our 6th wedding anniversary (30th). For some reason I just haven't thought about it much and have nothing planned. Any ideas?? I am at a loss what to buy a 2 year old boy. I suppose I'll wander around Target and see what jumps out at me. Thankfully he has no idea what his birthday is and it won't matter when we celebrate a week late.

I am now officially a member of a book group. Our first book is Twilight. I've never read the books or seen the movie and I've really been enjoying it so far. We are finishing the book this week and watching the movie. I can't believe that I'm enjoying it so much. I never thought I'd like it. Here's to trying new things. And our next series...Harry Potter. I can't believe I actually want to read it. I must not be feeling right. So, if you ever read a great book (nothing religious) please let me know. We'll need some suggestions to keep this group going. And who doesn't love an excuse to get together with girl friends and eat and talk?

The Good, The Bad and The Really Ugly

Well...I guess I'll post my big announcement. Dave and I have decided it is time for me to stay home with Christian. So, next year I'm going to quit my job and stay home. I can't wait to try out the stay at home mom thing for a little while.

Now for the other, not nearly as exciting, news. Dave and I discovered we were pregnant a few weeks ago. However, I had a miscarriage last night. I'm doing ok, but still in some pain today. We are just trying to rest and take it easy for a couple days.

I guess my blog can't be all warm and fuzzy.

Umm...It's Been 2 Months...

So, what have I been up to the last couple of months, you ask? Check out my other blog to find out. Sorry I've been so terrible at updating. I'll try to be better (I say that every time!).

Keep checking back for a big announcement in the next couple of weeks. I'm pretty excited about it!

Dear Diary Part 2

I'm pretty sure today is Sunday. The day we keep the Sabbath holy. Maybe I got a little mixed up today. I've been all out of sorts. I can't seem to keep my days straight.

I woke up after 8am today and freaked out that I was late for work. Then I realized it was Sunday. PHEW!! We got up, ate breakfast, and then I remembered that my visiting teachers were supposed to come. Since Christian and Dave both have the flu, I thought I'd better cancel. I'm sure we don't need to get them sick.

Well. (insert big sigh here) Dave went to work today. I hate that he has to work some Sundays, but it's fewer than before. And I'm super grateful he has a job.

Pretty soon Christian keeps saying "phone, phone" and pointing at Dave's phone. "Good job, honey, that's a phone." I'm such a proud mom. My son is SO smart. Wait a minute!! Dave's at work. Darn! After calling his store we come to the conclusion that I'd better take his phone to him.

Christian and I arrive at the store just in time for lunch. (Coincidence, I think not!) We enjoy our lunch together and Dave tells me he won a contest at work. The prize is $400. Wahoo!!

After lunch I asked Dave to listen to the car. It's been making a funny noise the past couple of days and with everyone being so sick we just hadn't gotten to it yet. Here's how it goes.

Dave: "Okay, babe, start the car."
I start the car and Dave gets a perplexed look on his face.
Dave: "Okay, babe, turn off the car."
I turn the key.
Dave: "Hon, go ahead and turn the car off, please."
Me: "I did."
Not only did I turn the car off, but I pulled the key out....so why is it still running??
Dave: "Darn, pop the hood."
I pop the hood and Dave tinkers around.
Dave: "The starter's going out, we need a new one now."
Me: "How much is this going to cost?"
Dave: "Don't know, let's go find out."
Me: "Can it wait until tomorrow?"
Dave: "Sure, but we'll have to tow it."
Me: "Darn!"

So, we buy the parts necessary ($225) and take it to the shop. They quote us $70 for that...we'll see what it ends up being.

I'm not happy this all had to happen on a Sunday. I should have taken the car to him yesterday, but I really didn't think it was that big of a deal. Good thing I have a husband that works at an auto parts store. And way to go, Babe, on winning $400! It'll now reimburse us for the car repairs. Coincidence, I think NOT!

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Today was a pretty low key day. It started by sleeping in until after 8am...so refreshing. Then, after breakfast, we went for a nice walk and played at the park. We ran errands and returned home for lunch and a nap. Christian only slept for an hour today. He usually sleeps for three. He was in a good mood though and pretty even tempered for the most part. This afternoon he was playing with our shoes and I figured he couldn't do too much damage so I let him play. The rest of the afternoon carried on as usual, except Dave came home from work 4 hours early because he had a fever and was feeling very sick. He slept until midnight and then discovered we were out of medicine (at least the kind that wasn't expired..oops!). He is feeling very ill and will need to drug himself heavily to make it through tomorrow. I, being the good wife, offered to run to our local 24 hour Wal Mart to get a few things. It's raining tonight. As soon as I stepped outside onto the wet sidewalk I quickly realized my sock was wet. I examined the bottom of my shoe to discover a hole. It appears Christian wasn't playing with our shoes, he was poking holes in the bottom of my crocs. Hmmm...I suppose it's time for new shoes.

Toodeloo!

Day 1

As an update to my post a couple weeks ago I have started to train for the 3 day walk in 2010. I have decided that I am way too out of shape to ever survive that much walking in only 3 months. And I need more time to raise that much money. I still really want to do it so I am going to start training now for next year's walk. Then I can register in Feb 2010 and give myself 6 months to raise the money. Plus I have all this time to figure out fundraising ideas. So...if you have any ideas don't hesitate to share. I do realize that I may not be able to walk next year. So many things can happen between now and then, but it certainly won't hurt to train. I will update this blog as I continue to train and attempt to reach my goal of walking at least a mile everyday. Wish me luck..I'm going to need it. I'm going to have to do some serious creative time management to squish that into my day. But I know I can. I'm not that busy.

Today was my first hour long walk. I have no clue how far I walked. I need to get a way of tracking that. I need new shoes. Good shoes. My right foot and shin hurt so bad. I think my shoes have too much arch support. Sometimes I am glad to live in a big city with lots of resources. I will need to go to a special shoe store soon and get fitted for some good walking shoes. I'm sure it'll cost me an arm and a leg, but it's worth it. I know I'd give up if it was too painful to walk. Plus I stand all day at work so I need my feet to feel oh so good.

Walk and Walk and Walk

You might think I'm crazy. But you probably already thought that. For a while now I've had a certain topic on my mind. Breast Cancer. I don't have any close friends or relatives that have been diagnosed with breast cancer, but several of my customers at the bank are currently fighting the battle. Thankfully, they are winning. As I've been thinking about what I can do to help I came up with a nice long list of "easy" things I could do. But then I came across the Susan G. Komen for the Cure 3 day walk. I've heard of this before and never in a million years ever thought I would/could do it. After all....you walk 60 miles in 3 days. That's A LOT of walking! And you must raise at least $2,300.00 to participate. That's A LOT of money! Phew! Maybe I should reconsider.

Well, I did reconsider and a month later I'm still thinking about it. It won't go away. I can't get it off my mind. I've come up with a lengthy list of all the reason's I shouldn't/can't do it. So why do I still feel like I NEED to do it? I'm not gonna lie...I'm a bigger girl. I could stand to lose a lot of weight. I realize all of that walking will probably help with the weightloss goals, but that's A LOT of walking for a big girl to commit to. And A LOT of money to raise for a REALLY poor girl to commit to. And I can come up with A LOT more excuses, too.

I'm usually pretty good at talking myself out of things. And then I feel bad for not doing it in the end. And I'm really trying to not do that anymore. And my word of the year is LEARN and I could definitely learn a lot while walking. And think of all those pounds disappearing. And I'll probably make some really good friends. And it would really help my out of control blood pressure. And I really want another baby...but I need to get healthy before that's going to happen.

Do you see my dilemma? I can't make a firm decision. I don't know why it's so hard for me. So let's say I do sign up and pay my $90 for registration. And I don't end up raising enough money. Have no fear...I don't walk 60 miles, but I still raised money to help cancer research. And all is well. I'm out $90 and still skinnier from all the training. But if I don't register. I sit around the house all day and get fatter..or at best maintain..and go about my day as normal. Oh and don't forget about how I'll always wonder if I could've done it.

BLERG!

I'm probably going to do it. So...who wants to train with me? At least 2 miles everyday. More on the weekends/days off. I'll keep you updated on what I decide to do.

I Want A Do-Over

Last weekend Christian and I flew to Salt Lake City for my sister, Maren's, mission farewell. The whole family (except Dave) was there. It was going to be so much fun! We really did have a good time. My sister, Kenzie, and I took the kids to the park on Friday. We had family pictures on Saturday and a big gathering after church on Sunday.

On Friday night Christian and I started to not feel well. I thought it was going to be just a cold. No biggy. I can still function with a cold. Unfortunately, it was much more than that. I was very sick and couldn't sleep all night. My stomach was not well, my head was terribly congested, and my whole body ached. At 6am I decided to take some medicine. It was too late. I couldn't keep it down and my body clamped up. My dad gave me a blessing. I was really worried I wasn't going to be able to be in the family pictures. But miraculously, I was well enough to get myself dressed and presentable enough for pictures. My legs were very stiff and sore making it hard and slow to walk, but I walked. My hands were mostly still clamped, but I was able to dress myself and pull my hair up. My next battle was being able to smile. I wasn't able to smile well in most of the pictures, but hopefully it was good enough. Thankfully I was able to sit in the pictures and my family helped me hold Christian. Mom and Dad said they turned out nice. I can't wait to see them.

On the way home from the pictures I was craving a hamburger, so my sister took me to BurgerKing for a kids meal. I didn't realize it until Monday, but we left my debit card there. Thankfully, nobody used it and it was still there on Monday and I was able to pick it up. That would have never happened in Denver.

On Sunday we were able to make it to church and hear Maren's talk. I was thankful Christian was good so I could hear her speak. After all, that was the whole reason we were in town. After church we had A LOT of people over to mingle and eat. I did my best to socialize, but less than an hour later I couldn't handle it anymore. Christian and I went downstairs and took a nap. Did I mention we took a nap before church too?

On Monday, we flew home. I was sad to leave, but happy to see Dave. We missed him while we were gone. And I'm told, he missed us too.

I was really looking forward to going to IKEA while in UT, but I didn't go. We didn't get to see Miranda and Kris either. But, we were able to spend time with my family and that's the part I liked the most. I barely took any pictures though...so unlike me. I had hopes of taking a picture of Christian with each of his Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents. Oh well. Maybe for Maren's Homecoming!

HermitCrab

I'm a hermit. If I didn't work outside of the home I fear I would never leave the house except to go to church and the grocery store. A big outing might be to the library or Chick-Fil-A. Fortunately, I am forced into the outside world every day. I see that there is life outside of my house. And now I am learning there is life outside of Parker.

Christian and I (and occasionally we'll let Dave come too) have been checking out some local hot spots. In the past couple of weeks we have been to the Downtown Aquarium, the Kids Expo, Washington Park, and the Children's Museum. We have also been on numerous walks, played at various parks, shopped for things we don't need and planned a few more excursions in the coming months. We've been having so much fun! We've made new friends and strengthened relationships with old friends. And I love giving Christian the opportunity to interact with kids his own age.

So, hopefully we'll keep it up. I know we won't always be able to get out every week, but for now we're enjoying time away from our tiny condo. We're a happier group to be around when we are out playing in the sunshine.

What activities do you like to do? Are you a fan of playgroups?

Contest Time!

My cousin's wife has recently started her own business. Check out her website (click logo above) to enter the contest.

Decisions!

You know when you have an (what seems to be) impossibly huge decision to make and you just can't seem to come up with the right choice?

You pray about it and think about it and maybe even discuss it with others or make a pros/cons list.

Isn't it amazing that once you finally make the decision you have a peaceful feeling inside like you've done the right thing?

Or you have a yucky feeling like maybe you haven't done the right thing.

It seems like you knew all along what to do, but just couldn't convince yourself to believe that you already knew the right choice.

I think it's just Amazing how hard we can make things on ourselves when they aren't hard at all.
You just need to have faith...
And Listen.

Give A Way

I stole this from my sister-in-law, KaraLynne. Thanks for the great idea!

The first three people to respond to this post will get something made by me. My choice. For you. (I know...a little scary, but maybe fun, huh?) This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
1- I make no guarantees that you will like it
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done by the end of March.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be.
It may be a loaf of homemade bread. It may be a bag, a card, an apron. It may be a book, a scarf, a poem. I may bake you something and mail it to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you must re-post this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who do the same on your blog. The first 3 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did it will then win a Fabulous homemade something made by me! Ready, Set,....GO!!!

Blogcation

I took a week off from blogging. It's not that I didn't have anything to say, I just needed to catch up on things around the house and have time for fun things. Plus I had a sick baby and sick husband, and now I'm not feeling too hot. So, just know life is good and when I feel a little better I'll be back.

WWYD?

As more and more of us are dependent on our internet to get us through the day I have come into a situation that is somewhat weird for me.

I am not the most outgoing person in the world. I have, over the years, moved from the painfully shy category into the shy category. It was a long process, but now I see myself moving back to the painfully shy category more and more each day. I don't find it easy to speak up in groups. It usually takes me a while to feel comfortable to express my opinions to people I don't know. I hate conflict. I think you get the picture.

I have really enjoyed blogging because I am able to say what I want and if you are bored by me or offended then you don't have to continue reading. I get it off my chest without the immediate rejection from my listeners/readers.

I recently joined the site MomsLikeMe. For the most part I have really enjoyed hearing what other moms in my community have to say. Everyone is really nice and mostly nonjudgmental. I have been able to talk to other moms in my area with kids that are the same age as mine. As well as other moms that are trying for another. There is a group for virtually everyone out there, and if there is not, it only takes 5 seconds to create one.

There is a safety to having "internet" friends. But when you want to meet that person in real life...face to face...and introduce your kids...I turn into panic mode. What is it about meeting new people that makes me go crazy? I am 26 years old. I should be over the teenage mentality. What if they don't like me? Who cares? I have friends that do like me. So what if that one person doesn't like me. I don't like everyone I meet.

A big part of MomsLikeMe is to set up playdates or other get togethers. The point is to make friends and be a support to other moms. Now, somebody wants to go on a playdate with me and Christian. I don't want to be rude and not go just because I am too shy. I can't take my husband...that would be weird. None of my friends have children that are Christian's same age...hence the reason I joined the site in the first place.

Does this almost seem like Internet Dating? What Would You Do? Why do I push myself into situations that I know will make me uncomfortable?

To meet or not to meet? ... That is the question.

(I didn't know I was so worked up about this...sorry! It's been nagging at me for a week.)

$aving Money

Over the last couple of months I have been trying to get myself into a better routine of grocery shopping and menu planning. Now that I feel like I'm getting the hang of it I am going to try to expand on it a little at a time over the next year. Right now we are only a family of 3, but hopefully in the future our little family will grow. I know that as our family grows, our food bill will grow too and our income will shrink (with me working part time or not at all). So, I figured that starting now would alleviate some of the pressure when we are really trying to save all of our pennies.

I recently found the grocery game. Have you ever heard of it? Used it? I am going to try it out, but I am not convinced that it will work for me. We don't have a place to store bulk items. I don't even have a pantry. But I thought I'd try it for a month and see if it's worth it. It costs $60 a year, but is supposed to save you $100's. I'm skeptical, but I am always skeptical. It's the nature of my business.

Anyway, do you all clip coupons? I know we are all trying to save a few dollars here and there. How do you do it? Do you find the time vs. savings worth the trouble?