Picking Up the Pieces

I kinda fell off the face of the planet for a couple weeks. My computer was being serviced and it took forever! But anyway, I just thought I'd give a little update on everything that has been going on. I've been trying to be positive in all that I do, but that takes a lot of work and I'm so tired of being "happy" all the time. I'm not miserable or anything like that I'm just not overly happy like people usually think I am. I've been going about my usual day to day activities, but everything is just so blah lately. I've been trying to go out and do things and just relax and have fun and enjoy my little boy to keep my mind off of reality. But eventually I have to deal with reality...so here I am picking up the pieces. I can't leave a mess forever, eventually I need to clean it up. So, some day I'll figure out how to control my anger (which has not been happening lately) and be the loving, caring, supportive wife that I know I really am. I have felt like a really bad wife lately. I haven't been loving, caring or supportive this last month. Time to come back to reality...live life to it's fullest and make the best lemonade possible out of the rotten lemons I've been delivered. It could be a lot worse...so in that way..I'm lucky! I know I'm being watched out for and I know that if I try my best....and actually try my best...I'll be A-Ok.

So, anyway, we're still alive here in Denver..and relatively happy in not-so-happy times. What more can we really ask for. We really have a lot and I shouldn't complain.

Falling Apart

We all have our ups and downs in life. So why am I always SO surprised when things don't always go the way I want them to? Why am I still trying to maintain that perfect control over the family and all we choose to do? Why don't I just roll with the punches with a graceful ease? I guess because I am human.

Life always throws things at you just so you don't get too comfortable. It seems lately that I've spent most of my time focusing on the bad and not enough on the good. Just the other day I was asking myself why the bad stuff always happens to me. What on earth can I do for a little break. Within seconds my thoughts turned to the day I found out I was finally going to have a baby. The day I got to see the heartbeat on the ultrasound. The day I found out I was having a boy. The day my little boy was born after trying for 3 years to get him here. Then I thought about the day I was sealed to my husband for time and all eternity in the Denver temple. And I thought about my very first time in the temple. And I thought all the way back to my baptism and why I was SO very excited to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. My life is not bad. Sure I have encountered a few speed bumps and road blocks. I've even taken a few detours. But somehow, I always get back to where I need to be and really...life is good!

Right now our little family is struggling..but pulling together. We'll make it through just fine. Sure we have our moments, but who doesn't? We'll work hard and with a little help (okay, maybe a lot) we will make it through stronger than we were before. After all...this journey was never intended to be easy.

So, as I sat in my room sulking wondering what was wrong with me and why does everything have to happen at once, I realized that it wasn't all bad. And really...it could be a lot worse. And so I sang myself to sleep with a favorite hymn "Count Your Blessings". Sometimes instead of counting sheep to go to sleep I count my blessings. It usually leads me into a nice deep sleep and pleasant dreams. Life isn't perfect, but it's not so bad either.

Here's to optimism! And the happiness it brings.

Staples

Today was Dave's 2nd day on the job as a Store Manager. They are setting up a brand new store with all the shelving and auto parts. This morning Dave had a shelving upright fall on his head. It left a 2 1/2" cut that sent him to the ER for a few hours. He ended up getting 6 staples holding his head together. Thankfully they didn't have to shave any of his hair (he's trying to hang onto all of it that he can).




So, in a week or so he gets to have the staples removed. Sounds painful to me.

Work, Work, Work, Work, Work

Ever soaked in so much information in one day that it made your brain hurt? I sure hope I can remember everything I have learned today. I almost feel like I am in school again (minus the homework *phew*). There is SO much paperwork to be done on top of the other things I do. I love the challenge. Who knew banking could be so exciting? Okay, it's not really that exciting, but I sure do enjoy my job. I'm getting used to my new branch and I really think keeping myself busy is the key to happiness (and faster days). I enjoy learning a variety of new things about bank operations and I am glad they can count on me to learn new tasks quickly so I can help out in more areas. I just want to keep the customer contact. My job wouldn't be fun with out all the people I get to see on a daily basis. Anyway, I just think it is interesting that I didn't want to transfer, but it has turned out okay. I am glad they believe in my abilities even though I was searching for my boring job back. I guess when doors are opened for you you should take the opportunity to walk through them. Who knows when/if they will be opened for you again.

From A to Z

A- Attached or Single? Attached and married!
B- Best Friend? Dave
C- Cake or Pie? Cake I suppose
D- Day of choice? Wednesday
E- Essential item? gum..gotta keep my mouth moving
F- Favorite color? Green
G- Gummy bears or worms? Sour gummy worms
H- Hometown? Parker, CO
I- Favorite Indulgence? being alone
J- January or July? July, lots of barbeques and fireworks
K- Kids? We have one boy right now and I think we want 2 or 3 more
L- Life isn't complete without? My family
M- Marriage date? Aug 30, 2003
N- Number of brothers and sisters? I have 2 bros and 2 sis and Dave has 3 bros and 9 sis
O- Oranges or Apples? Oranges
P- Phobia and fears? I'm scared of the dark and deep water
Q- Quote? "Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real." Iris Murdoch
R- Reasons to smile? I have a beautiful family and I am still alive and able to enjoy them
S- Season of choice? Autumn
T- Tag 3 people: Maren, Shara, and Angela
U- Unknown fact about me: Dream a but is life, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily stream the down gently, boat your row, row, row. I like to sing songs backwards.
V- Vegetable? carrots
W- Worst Habit? being late for everything
X - Ray or Ultrasound? Both, Xray my teeth and ultrasound with my pregnancy
Y- Your favorite food? spaghetti and meatballs
Z- Zodiac sign? Gemini

I'm A Survivor

We made it to Nauvoo and had a fabulous time at the reunion. As stressed as I was about packing, it only took a few hours to get it all done (with Dave's help). Christian did marvelous on the road trip and was a happy boy the whole week. I, however, was very sick the first half of the vacation and missed a lot of great opportunities to see some sights. I was able to see Liberty Jail and Independence, MO, but I missed the trip to Carthage. I was really bummed about that. We didn't get to see much in Nauvoo between me being sick and Christian's short attention span. But we did see a couple things we missed last time we were there. It was nice to get away for a whole week as a family. The last time we had a vacation that long was our honeymoon (which was also a roadtrip to Nauvoo). So, hopefully we will be able to go back once we have older kids. Oh, and if you ever think about camping in Nauvoo--don't. It's hot, humid, buggy and miserable. I am glad we had the opportunity to get away, but I am glad to be home.

Vacation

On Friday we are going to make a journey with Dave's family to Nauvoo for the first Putnam family reunion. We are very excited to spend time with some of our favorite people, but I am very stressed about being away from home for a whole week! There is so much to plan that I am feeling a little overwhelmed and not wanting to do anything. This is our first post baby vacation (other than a short visit to Salt Lake) so I am having a little trouble figuring out how to take enough without taking too much. Space is limited in our little Hyundai Elantra. Christian does require a lot of big things such as a stroller, pack n play, diapers and wipes, food and bottles, clothing, toys, blankets, and the list goes on. It should be interesting not having his high chair for a week. And it'll be our first time camping with the little tyke. And what are we doing with the animals while we are gone? Somehow this all snuck up on us. It is so easy to get caught up in day to day life and time gets away from you easily. On the bright side I do tend to do my best work under pressure.