I'm In Love

I know we got married 5 years ago and our anniversary was over a month ago, but I just thought I would post this fun scrapbook slide show I made. Even through our ups and downs and all arounds, I am still madly in love with my husband.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

I Shouldn't Be Driving...

It's not that I am a bad driver, at least I don't think so. I just can't seem to tell where I am and where I need to go to get where I need to get. I had to drive out to see Dave tonight and take him some dinner due to an unexpected long day. On my way out there I took a wrong turn had to turn around and go back the other way. And then on the way back I missed my exit and the next exit wasn't for 5 miles. And then I got stuck behind a bunch of slow people only going 55mph in a 75mph. So my 30 min drive took me an hour and I wasted a bunch of gas not to mention my first mistake cost me a $.75 toll. Ugh! I have NO direction sense. I never know which way is N, S, E, W. Good thing we have the mountains in Denver. I'd be totally lost otherwise.

Cute Song

Have you seen the Apostle Song video? It's pretty amazing! I thought since conference was coming up I'd share it with you. I am sure a lot of people have already seen it, but just in case you haven't check it out here.

$$$

I love, love, love my job (most days). For the past couple months I have been filling in where needed in a couple different departments. I feel like I am really starting to become a lot more useful. I love that feeling! I love the challenge of learning new things while still having my same old boring job. I didn't originally want to transfer to my current location, but I figure if I have to work there I may as well enjoy it and I may as well learn something while I still have the opportunity.

This is where the dilemma comes in. There is always a dilemma isn't there? There is an assistant supervisor position available right now. I keep telling myself I don't want the job. I like being the "fill-in" girl. I like knowing how to do the job and being able to do it well, but not have the responsibility to do it everyday. But on the other hand I really enjoy the job. I can go back and forth in my mind several times per day. Most people say to put my name in for the position. If I don't get it then it's no big deal because I can still be "fill-in" girl. But if I do get it then I would easily transition into the job because I have already been trained and taken all the classes. Oh..and I would get a raise.

My side of the story goes a little something like this. Not many months ago I was promoted to be assistant supervisor and I joyfully accepted my new job. But then I was always stressed that I wasn't doing everything perfectly and I stressed myself into sickness. I was rushed to the ER 2 times in a matter of 3 months for serious health problems. I have nightmares of that happening again. I don't want to put myself in that situation again. I first and foremost need to be able to care for my family. And if I am sick all the time I can't do that. So, it's not that I can't do the job, because I can..and I know I like it, but I fear I will stress myself out (because that is what I do best) and not be able to do the job. Besides, I don't think I could take the rejection. Isn't that always in the back of the mind or is it just me?

I don't have an unlimited amount of time to make my decision. I really need to decide and decide now. Maybe I'll use General Conference as a time to reflect and be closer to the spirit to help me make my decision. The more I think about it and pray about it and say I'm not going to do it the more I don't feel easy inside. I have been going back and forth for 3 weeks now. That's a long time to make a simple decision. ACK! I just don't want to set myself up for disaster.

Out on a Limb

I am going to take a risk in announcing this, but it's official. I am baby hungry. Very baby hungry. What do I do?? Christian is now 13 months and I already want another one. Isn't it too soon? We always thought we'd wait until he was 18 months before even thinking about it, but I think about it, dream about it, talk to other new moms about it. Is this normal? Am I nuts? I don't know what to do. Should we "try" or wait? How soon is too soon? How long is too long? How will I know when it's the right time to have another? It's a miracle I function throughout the day. It's on my mind all the time. It's official! I am very, very baby hungry. Help! We can't have another baby until we can afford for me to stay home. Or at least work part time. I can't afford 2 kids in daycare...we can barely afford the one. I have to come up with a distraction. I need to keep myself busy. I know! (This is where the light bulb goes on.) I will do everything in my power to prepare ourselves to have another baby. Then I will always feel like I am working towards my goal. And we will soon be able to have another baby. It's officail! I'm nuts!

I Got Nothing

Well, it's been a little while since I posted last, but I don't have anything to blog about. Where does everyone come up with all their fun posts? There isn't much going on this side of the computer and I don't even have a profound thought to share. You'd think I'd have something. But I've got nothing. What do I think about all day? I do have to admit it's a nice change of pace.

Picking Up the Pieces

I kinda fell off the face of the planet for a couple weeks. My computer was being serviced and it took forever! But anyway, I just thought I'd give a little update on everything that has been going on. I've been trying to be positive in all that I do, but that takes a lot of work and I'm so tired of being "happy" all the time. I'm not miserable or anything like that I'm just not overly happy like people usually think I am. I've been going about my usual day to day activities, but everything is just so blah lately. I've been trying to go out and do things and just relax and have fun and enjoy my little boy to keep my mind off of reality. But eventually I have to deal with reality...so here I am picking up the pieces. I can't leave a mess forever, eventually I need to clean it up. So, some day I'll figure out how to control my anger (which has not been happening lately) and be the loving, caring, supportive wife that I know I really am. I have felt like a really bad wife lately. I haven't been loving, caring or supportive this last month. Time to come back to reality...live life to it's fullest and make the best lemonade possible out of the rotten lemons I've been delivered. It could be a lot worse...so in that way..I'm lucky! I know I'm being watched out for and I know that if I try my best....and actually try my best...I'll be A-Ok.

So, anyway, we're still alive here in Denver..and relatively happy in not-so-happy times. What more can we really ask for. We really have a lot and I shouldn't complain.