Tag..You're it

A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. B. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves. C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. I have a really fun condition that caused me to have very short pinkies...among other things.

2. I have turned into one of "those" moms that picks their kid's nose, uses spit to wipe their face, and is very interested in pooping, farting, burping, etc.

3. I really, really, really like peanut m&ms...I really do.

4. Even though I am one of the pickiest people I know when it comes to food....my favorite channel is the Food Network. I also have an obsession with collecting kitchen gadgets...like anything Pampered Chef...even though I almost NEVER use them.

5. I really enjoy working with people and money..I guess that is a good thing, since I am a bank teller and all.

6. I REALLY like to ride roller coasters. I hope I get to do that this year since I missed last year.

I unfortunately only know one other person that uses blogger...and she tagged me....soooooooo we've reached the end of the chain for me. sorry charlie.

Holy Crap!

hmm..I'm not sure I've ever seen holy crap, but maybe some day I will. I think I completely forgot I even had this site. Kinda nice that I have a good sister that helped me to remember. Well, maybe I can write on here now that I actually have a little to write about. After reading my last post...which was over a year ago...I have decided that I have made GREAT strides in the course of my happiness. A few months after that post I found out I was pregnant and I got so distracted that I forgot about all my troubles. Really I just started to realize how selfish I was being and decided to get over it. It took time, and I am still working on it, but I think I am at a much better place in my life.

Now that I have a baby, my life has changed in ways I never knew possible. First of all I never knew sleep deprivation like I do now. It's one thing to not get sleep for a little while, but after no sleep for basically 3 months now...I'm kinda used to it. In fact, my 2 month old son is now sleeping 4 hours at a time during the night and my poor body doesn't know what to do with all that sleep. That first month I was lucky to get 4 hours of sleep in one night..let alone at one time. Now kids...I didn't sleep much when I was at school...and without that practice I don't think I would have made it through this time in my life. *tehee*

So, maybe I am just a dork, but it's REALLY getting hard to go to work in the mornings. I find myself dreading leaving Christian at the sitter's. And then I torture myself day after day by seeing him at lunch. It's too hard to leave the first time..let alone the second. So, call me crazy, but I have decided to not see him at lunch anymore. At least for now. I'm the girl who doesn't even have pictures of her son at work because it is too distracting. So, maybe I am crazy, but it works for me.

And what's with all the "know-it-all" mom's???? Everyone has advice for me whether I want it or not. Can you believe I had a customer ask me why I'm not staying home? First of all...it's none of her business. Second, I am at work so I can pay the mortgage so we can have a house to live in. Someone has to make money to buy food so we can stay alive. And the best part...I have the health insurance for his 8 million doctor's appointments. And fourth...IT'S NONE OF HER BEES WAX! So, anyway, that's how I feel about that.

I think I have an opinion about a lot of things today, but I think I am too tired at 10pm to say them all. Besides, this has been pretty random as it is. So, if I ever find time to write, I will try to remember to do so on this really cool blogging site. It's kinda fun.

I'm Still Alive

Recenty I have been going through a very rough time in my life. I've been up and down and all around with depression and anxiety. As I have been going day to day, barely hanging on some days, I had decided I was beyond help. Apparently I have not gone unnoticed. After a few phone calls from certain people and an appointment with the bishop, I have decided that maybe, just maybe I am not beyond help. I am sorry to those I have drug through the dark depths of my own personal hell. I realize that I have been more than just a little stubborn these past months. And even though I thought all along I didn't want any help, I was truly screaming out for help from anybody. I was praying that some day I just might make it through this still alive. I have said and done some pretty horrible things to those that I love the most (namely my husband, Dave). I know that right now I am still in the thick of things. I started to take medication, but then took myself off of it cold turkey. That of course made things WAY worse for all of us. I have refused to go to counseling or talk to anybody about my problems. Only in the past several days have I started to open up to my closest friends about how deep i really am in horrible depression. Maybe my prayers were answered by being asked to talk with the bishop. But I really think it was the prayers of my friends and family that inspired him to call us in for an appointment. No matter how it happened, it happened and I am almost grateful it did. It is still a little too soon for me to know if I really am ready to get the help we all know I need. I know none of this really makes much sense, but the way I see it--nobody will actually read it anyway, so it doesn't need to make sense.

I am still trying to work things through in my crazy brain. I have a lot of things that need to be fixed because I was too depressed to see that I was destroying the most important parts of my life ever so slowly. So, as I go through the next 3 months I hope that I will be able to become a new person. Or the old me would work just fine too. And if you are lucky...I might keep posting blogs from time to time. I hope it can become a habit for me. Anyway, Until next time!

Just a little sumthn sumthn

So, I was thinking that maybe, just maybe I might have something to say by now. But apparently I am not as creative as I thought I was. Nothing exciting has really happened in my life lately. It seems I live an overly ordinary life. I have a good husband and great friends. I work, my husband works and goes to school and we have a dog. You really can't get much more ordinary than that. I hope that over the next few months I will be able to post often and let my mind wander. I intend to let this site be a journal of sorts. I hope that some of my crazy friends (who might think they are normal...but they're not) might respond to some of my crazy thoughts and let me know some of their own thoughts too. Let's all embrace our craziness together...haha! Really, I just needed a way to get myself to get my thoughts out of my brain and onto paper. I don't want this to turn into therapy. Well...........until later!

The Beginning of It All

So, I thought I might jump on the bandwagon and try out this blogging thing. I don't have anything to say right now, but hopefully I will come up with something crazy enough to post in the near future.