Depression

Depression is a funny thing. It varies from feeling a little blue to not being able to function in day-to-day activities. It can be triggered by traumatic events or just be a chemical imbalance. It can last for just a few hours to a lifetime. It’s different for every person. Some people believe you have complete control over depression. Others believe only medications can fix it.

I am thankful that I haven’t had the lifetime of depression that causes me to not want to face the world. I don’t have the voices telling me that I am such a disgrace to the world that it would be better off without me. But I have friends and family that aren’t so lucky. They battle with those voices. They face the ugly blackness of depression. They feel alone, even with close family and friends by their side. They feel ugly, dirty, unworthy, etc.

If I could go back to school I would study depression and the human brain. It fascinates me. I have spent many hours thinking about it, wanting to know what it is, why it happens, who is prone to it, how to fix it. I would love to be involved in scientific studies (as the scientist…not the patient). I want people to be happy. I want to help. I probably won’t ever make it back to school to get a formal education, and that is ok. Maybe I can still help…help people believe in themselves and the world around them. I hope I can.

SPT-Shadows

SPT-Busted

My Day Off

I sure do love my days off. This week I get an extra day...Happy Veteran's Day! We had so much fun sleeping in, going out for breakfast, going to grandma and grandpa's house for lunch, visiting a friend in the hospital, playing at the park and finally heading home. Phew! Christian doesn't know what to do with all these fun activities. I still need to go grocery shopping...or maybe I'll have the husband do that tomorrow on his day off. It's only 3:30pm but I'm pooped. I'm telling you what....staying home is SO much more work than my "job". Chasing a toddler around, making sure he doesn't break anything..including himself..getting all his meals in him (a lot harder than it seems), and protecting our poor dog's tail is a lot to accomplish all at once. Somehow I manage, and at the end of the day I am happier than one woman should be. Sure, I have my challenges, we all do. But I can't imagine my life any other way right now. I am so blessed!

P.S. I changed 5 poopy diapers today! gross

The Inevitable

My Nikon CoolPix 4300 4.1mp (blah blah blah) is on his death bed. He has lived a very good, long, and somewhat neglected until last August, life. We have kept him charged and ready to use at a moment's notice. However, at our recent trip to Boo at the Zoo Christian threw a tantrum and threw my camera across the sidewalk. My poor camera had sustained some minor head trauma, but with my quick reaction I was able to save it. The recent event was too much to live through. My camera is starting to regress, not able to remember all of it's functions. Slowly, it is shutting down. I will miss this camera. He has been a part of our lives for almost 6 years. He's been good to us. Unfortunately for him (but fortunately for us) we will need to upgrade to a new camera. A youger and slimmer model with more brains aka mega pixels. Our camera has taken thousands of great pictures and for that we will always remember him fondly. Goodbye mister Nikon CoolPix 4300.

My Very 1st SPT

I thought I would give SPT a try. Want to know what SPT is? Click Here.

Who Would've Thunk?

I realized over the weekend that I have changed A LOT in the past year. Before becoming a mother I would gag at the thought of anyone throwing up. Now I can witness the act and clean it up without thinking twice about it. Before, I would cringe at changing a poopy diaper. Now, I change several diapers a week and have even caught poop in my bare hands to eliminate cleaning the carpet. (maybe that was too much info?) Before, I laughed at the people that cried when their babies got shots...now, I'm the one crying. Before, I didn't understand the love a mother has for a child. Now, I can't believe it is possible to love someone so much. Before, I couldn't understand why anyone would take so many pictures of their baby that didn't even move yet. Now, I have almost 2000 pictures of my 14 month old child. I know..it's a problem. The list goes on and on. Being a mother has taught me a lot about myself (some things...not so good). But mostly it has taught me to be grateful. Being a mommy is great...and nobody told me how great a bear hug from your toddler is!

And YAY that my little sister has decided to serve a mission!! We're all so excited!

And I'm SO happy with my current job! SO happy!